Its been well over a year of ups and down and countless hours of meetings and work in order to get the Atangard Community Project up and running, but one of the most rewarding things throughout this process, was reading through some of the letters of support we recieved from various people and organizations in the community last week. To hear from successful, legitimate people saying ‘We support this project, and think its a good idea’, was the extra encouragment we needed to boost our hopes and expectations for Mondays Abbotsford council meetings. (This meeting will be determining the fate of the Atangard Community Project, whether the city will approve the proposal or deny it)

This past year I’ve had to learn that through the highs and lows of this project, I can find peace in the consistent cycle of inconsistencies. We’ve talked about the ebb and flow at a lot in our meetings. Feeling like were making progress (a positive meeting or a word of encouragment) and then the low times of wondering if this was it, if all our hopes and hard work have been for nothing. I’ve been learning not to depend on the moments of euphoria, and rather see them as a gift and learning to embrace the raw times. And then to persevering through the challenges and oppositions we faced.

Sometimes I forget what life was like before the project. As I listen to our conversations and watch as all my friends debate world issues and help each other out with development proposals and marketing plans; it strikes me that we’ve experienced a lot of these “highs” together, as well as the “lows”. Its been incredible to watch all my friends work together and in a way, grow up. Especially observing Sophe, who has completely invested her whole self into this project and buryed herself under mountains of paperwork, endless research and hours of meetings. With all the work she has done, it hasn’t been easy watching her disappointments and heart breaks after some of the meetings. While I feel as though we have lost some of our innocence during this process, we have done so with integrity. Tragedy shapes us. It builds our character and our ability to empathize. It can also do the opposite, as Dan shared, it can sometimes cause a state of apathy or a hardened heart towards other people experiences, “I don’t care what you’ve been through, Ive probably been through it to.” Something that excites me about this project is the exposure to other peoples convictions and the potential to partner with them in a shared goal. My hope is that in surrounding ourselves with people who share a common pursuit of community life, we will learn to value each others tragedies and grow together in intimacy as individuals.
What ever the outcome of the meeting tommorrow, I feel that this project has already been a success. Because in and through the evolution of making this dream (ACP) become a reality, using the example Dan gave; from point A. (person holding a rock), to point B. (rock breaking window), we have started to unwrap some of the realities of living this life together. The very thing that can be so easily avoided in this day and age, is relationship. As Dave pointed out, “we can get to the moon but we suck at conflict.” I thought he put it well. And not only relationships in general, but healthy relationships, where people love each other enough to confront and forgive, and adapt and sacrfice for the sake of community.

-Tess

Two weeks ago we listened to Carissa tell her story which resonated with many of us on different levels. The increadible thing about sharing our stories as we have been the last couple of weeks is that we get to see people; their personalities, their quirks, their certain jadedness, as a result of distinct shaping experiences that they have had throughout their life.

The thing about Carissa’s story was that she told it with such a vulnerability that I felt as though we had been let in on a secret event, or an independant film depicting her life. I noticed that the thing that connected us so deeply with her story was the parts of it that reminded us of our own experiences. For example, any of us who have struggled with understanding equality in gender roles, judgment in the church, or a painful disconnection with loved ones in the past, could taste the kind of experiences that Carissa related.

Her awareness that she’s always been one “prone to tears” didn’t prevent her from delving into the most difficult valleys in her life explaining what is was like when she felt the shame of being left out from her siblings becuase she was a girl, the pain of her parent’s divorce, and struggling with the fact that the church was sending messages that alienated her brother and told her that as a female, she was best suited as a house wife. She explained her frustration through these times as well as sources of relief and understanding.

Personally, I have always been joyous to be female, although thoroughly defensive to anyone who attacks my ability to do anything for gender reasons. Carissa’s explanations of her discoveries echoed my feelings on these matters as far as her realization that her femininity could be celebrated and non restrictive!

There is much more depth to her story than I have explained here and I would encourage you to listen the audio post on this page. Another thing we discussed at the meeting was how we would deal with worst-case scenarios in our new home. It’s something we wouldn’t like to imagine ever happening but procedures need to be in place to show our professionalism as and ablilty to handle various situations. We spoke about making detailed budgets and lists, taking security training courses and getting sample forms for accounting and office finances.

Another topic brought up was fundraising. Perhaps putting on a show with our wealth of artists and musicians in our community?

-c