I was asked the other day if people here have been let down by the expectations they had when first moving in. I can only speak for myself. I do not think I had specific expectations, only hope. With years previous spent living in different situations with different amounts of people I did not think it would be a walk in the park. I only hoped that whatever that walk looked like, it would be worthwhile.
People and relationships can be complicated and messy, but I would not want life without them. Sometimes people ask me how things are going. I usually respond that it is good but hard, or hard but good, depending on how I’ve been most affected lately. People seem surprised or curious. I imagine that most marriages, journeys, or life paths have been hard but good too. It’s part of life. I believe that everything in life worth doing will have hard or unpleasant elements.
I’ve been living with a lot of these people for almost a year and a half now. Many of them I would not’ve come to know otherwise. The first year was quiet, a time of acquaintance, you could say. The last six months have more so been learning what it is to live together and with some to share life together.
I have at times felt defeat. That because things have been hard, or did not go as planned, that ambitions to live and love have been in vain. In such moments I have been advised this is not failure. This was in fact what I wanted, what I set out for. I just didn’t know what it would look like. In that I find desire to keep going.
Some people have tasted and tried a year or so of living together and have lost interest and are ready to move on. Some people may’ve lost heart. To some it no longer serves their needs. As in every practice you must continue to go deeper to receive the benefits. I am so grateful for those who continue to come alongside me in this endeavor.